did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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