Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
