no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
