So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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