we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
