mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
