i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
