hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Sober January is a disaster.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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