you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
