Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
