is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
