all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
