I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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