After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
