Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
