In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
