If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
