I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
