I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
