If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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