i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
