He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
