I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
