my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Two words: blizzard sex
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
