She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
