So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
