RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
