You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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