sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
