I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
