The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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