In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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