I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
