Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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