we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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