there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
