I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
