im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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