Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
