It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
