I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
