chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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