Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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