Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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