if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
