This girl is more easily done than said...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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