Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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