They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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