So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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