I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
